Codependence, Independence, Interdependence
I’ve been reading about the idea of Codependence vs. Independence vs. Interdependence and understanding the three as a growth model from one, to the next, to the next. This is something I have thought a lot about since deciding to move out to the woods and live as self sufficiently as possible. The idea of independence was immensely appealing to me, but with time I’ve grown to appreciate and love interdependence.
We start as codependent - little babies and small children that are dependent upon others for our survival, but, ideally, as we grow, we learn independence - how to care for ourselves, be responsible for ourselves and actively enjoy our own ambitions and direction. What seems to be talked about less in mainstream discussion is our development into interdependence. That is, once we’ve reached an understanding of our own independence, we utilize that self-direction to have balanced, fulfilling interdependent relationships with the people around us. If you don’t first master independence, you wont be able to have healthy interdependence and will likely suffer from codependent relationships with others - where you can be reactionary and scared, believing that you rely on others for your own survival, rather than appreciating the capabilities of others towards interdependent creation.
Humans are inherently interdependent - we’re very creative and actually work really well together. That’s how we have cities and roads, trains and cars and virtually every item we use in our daily lives - through the collaboration of other people. There’s a great TED talk that examines this concept where the speaker went on a mission to thank every person responsible for his daily cup of coffee. In the end he thanked thousands of people and realized he didn’t have the time or dedication to be able to literally thank every person involved.
When I was working on my house, I would catch myself thinking about how independent I was. As I figured out and installed a solar array, I’d think, “Wow, I’m so independent!” and then I would think, “Well, I didn’t make these solar panels, nor do I even know how…or want to know how, really. I didn’t make these nails and screws or the tools I’m using. I didn’t make all the clothes I’m wearing or my work boots…” You get it. Even when we sort of don’t want to be, we ARE interdependent. Once I truly grasped that, I came to deeply appreciate it.
Obviously, there are levels to everything and balance and you can be more independent within an interdependent society than someone else, and you can be more codependent, too. I’ve thought a lot about Twin Wolves from this angle recently.
Opening Twin Wolves was a largely independent endeavor, of course other people were involved in many ways(and always are since this is a client-based business), but in the scope of things it was largely independent. And it’s shuffled along like that, with me doing most everything to keep it going - feeling like I needed a certain amount of control to keep the vision aligned and also just kind of figuring everything out. I haven’t done something like this before and am learning so much about how it works and what works well and all of that. But more recently, I started looking at Twin Wolves and thinking, this baby is ready for some interdependence. Other people are inherently part of a community-based vision and it could use some other people to shape it. That, to me, is where the Practitioners come in. They are their own independent forces joining into the larger interdependent vision. They are other people with their own personal goals and direction, with the commonality of a life dedicated to healing and service to string it all together. I’m still figuring out how it all meshes and the best practices for smooth sailing, for achieving larger goals and dreams and for making the broader vision land in grounded reality, but I feel a sense of a shift in understanding and an openness to allow more levels of unpredictability to flow through, trusting the process and my own discernment. I’m still here at the helm, but I’m now looking to the crew to be the interdependent forces that help to drive the whole organism.
Let’s see where we land! It’s exciting, right?